I Had to See it to Believe It!

Wednesday's highlight was our first broken window due to a baseball. I figured one of my boys would be the culprit, but NO! Addison Claire did the honors. She, Sam, and Taylor were playing a cut-throat game of "Wall Ball" when the incident occurred. Now we may be able to work out a buy one, get one free deal with the Glass Doctor because Tom accidentally broke the kitchen window back in December. Feeling more and more like the Griswalds from Vacation every day!

The kids and I decided to spend some time in a bookstore because the day was cloudy and rainy, so we cashed in some more donated books at McKay's. Yee-Haw! $25 in trade for us! Now we just need another rainy day and the third grade summer reading list to make for another trip to McKay's.

I woke up early Thursday morning feeling kinda lonesome and out of sync. I think it's because school is out, summer hasn't hit me yet, and it seems like all my friends are busy. Just

feeling BLAH. I spent a few minutes talking to God about stuff and would you believe He took care of me again! He said, not audibly, "Go to Cades Cove and talk to Me." So I did! Sam came jogging back to my bed and we snuggled a little bit. Tom had left early to go to the office, so my one-on-one time with Sam was unhurried. I told Sam we were going to the mountains today!

While I took a shower, he woke up Addie and we threw a change of clothes in a bag in case of emergency. We gave Grandmom a call in the hopes she could join us and she DID!

God blessed us with an overcast day on the cool side. I filled up my car with gas for a whopping $50.52, and we were off! Once we arrived at "the Cove," Grandmom begged and pleaded for us to walk the cove (11 miles). Addie has walked it before, but Sam? I didn't know if my six year old had it in him to walk 11 miles...in his crocs! Since Grandmom was near tears (not really, I'm exaggerating), I relented and parked the car! At 11:15, we set out for what was sure to be an adventure!

We had no water, no food, no band-aids, nothing but our determination and sheer will to take us through this perilous journey. The cicadas were out in force! Every 17 years they emerge from dormancy in the ground, mate, and die. They were everywhere! Dead cicadas littered the road. Flying cicadas occasionally flew into our hair, or landed on our shoulders and looked at us with their fierce red eyes. We say many of them...um...mating. Addie asked about that, "Is that like getting married?" Grandmom and I looked at each other and said "Yes!" at the same time!

We saw three of the largest bears I have ever seen! Sam wasn't impressed. He told us he'd seen much bigger. When we asked him where, he said, "In my dreams!" He cracks me up sometimes. The smells of fresh earth, newly mowed grass, horses, wildflowers, and nature made me wish for a bottle to keep it in so I can open it on those cold, winter days ahead and remember... We saw 14 deer, one salamander (Grandmom saved its life by throwing it back in the creek with a leaf), a furry, black caterpillar, a dead frog, a dead snake, and a dead mouse.

Miraculously, Sam walked all 11 miles without out giving up or giving out! He complained a little bit and told me when he finally finished that he was "never, ever, going to do this again!" He walked about half the way around barefooted!

This was a day to celebrate Sam's great accomplishment! We praised his effort and his success and gave him hugs and high fives! He frowned and reminded us that he was never, ever going to do it again, but we know he'll change his mind...hopefully!

No trip around the loop is complete without an ice cream cone reward, all four of us indulged our craving and devoured our treat in record time! Addie and Sam each got a root beer from Grandmom because they were "so, so thirsty!"

We headed back to the valley at about 4:00, tired, but happy. We took Grandmom home to babysit Bennett and I crawled onto the trampoline fully intending to finish my book. No such luck. Tom cruised home and gave me a 15 minutes heads-up to be ready to go meet someone to sign a contract, then we'd grab a bite to eat. O'Charley's was our restaurant of choice tonight because Addie loves the big, fat yeast rolls! I was thrilled to see one of my former students, Danielle DeFayette, working as the hostess, and another former student, Amanda Collins, was working as a server!

Obviously, God took a look at me this morning and decided to fill me up some more! I am abundantly blessed!

42 + 50 = What Did You Do With the Time I Gave You?

Tonight I am feeling rather philosophical, so you'll have to bear with me through what may appear to be random thoughts. I started reading a book yesterday entitiled, The Shack by William P. Young. It started out as just a typical book about a father who takes his kids camping when a tragic accident occurs. Then, through a strange series of twists that left me scratching my head wondering, "Now where did THAT come from?" the father ends up back in the same place where the tragedy occurred three years later, but the surroundings are vastly different. Without spoiling the book, or giving away the ending (I haven't finished it yet anyway), let me say that this book has caused me to examine my relationship with God in a new light.

There have been moments while reading that I have rolled my eyes and thought, "Puh-leeze! That borders on the ridiculous!" I've even been slightly offended in places that the concept of God would be treated so seemingly lightly! However, now that I am nearing the end of the book, I'm asking myself profound questions about my Savior. How do I think of the Holy Spirit and what role does He/She/It play in my life? How about God, the Father? And Jesus? What about Him? I tend to think of Jesus as the easiest one of the Trinity to love. He is the One who paid my debt, right? He is the One who went willingly to the Cross, right? He's the One who interprets my prayers to the Father, right? I can get my head around Jesus, but who is God? What is His nature? I know the Sunday School answers; God is love. Yeah, He is, but what is it like to KNOW Him? What is it like to see through His eyes?

There is a particularly moving situation in the book when the main character, Mackenzie, is forced to judge his children. He simply cannot do it! He loves them too much. This is similar to the way Jesus loves us. How guilty I am of judging others! Who am I to judge them? Who am I to judge anyone? Even murderers, rapists, and "bad" people. What about people who drink too much, use drugs, cheat on their spouses? I am in no position to judge anyone.

Another thought from the book-Do I do what I do because of what the world expects of me? Are my decisions to love people based on social boundaries of what is acceptable? Could I love people more deeply, more like Christ, if I was not preoccupied by what "people" thought? I see their hurt; I feel their brokenness; I want to reach out and comfort them, but at what cost? For the purpose of clarification to anyone who might misinterpret my thoughts- I do not mean to cross physical boundaries or provide physical comfort, other than a hug or hand to hold. I'm referring to demolishing emotional walls and allowing myself to truly know another person and allowing that other person to know me back. God created relationships in order for us to see a glimpse of Him on earth. I have tasted the initimacy of relationships that have Christ at the center and they are by far the best relationships I've ever had! My soul craves that kind of intimacy!

God is at work on my heart right now. He is teaching me that He is enough. He is growing me in ways that will help me better serve whatever plans He has for my life. Serving Him is my heart's desire! I want to be used by God. I want to be the proof to the doubters that God can take someone like me-ordinary, limited, full of faults, and make me into something useful to the Creator of the Universe! It's laughable, isn't it? To think that I, selfish, insecure, impatient, sinful Amy, could ever do anything lasting for the Kingdom of God. I have no idea what His plans for my life are, but I know He never wastes a hurt, and when I give up control and allow Him to be Lord in my life, He proves Himself worthy every single time!

About the time factor. I am forty-two years old. Realistically, I could have, maybe, fifty more years, should life go easy on me. Or I could die in my sleep tonight. I'm already feeling the effects of time on my body. A passing glance in the mirror tells me that I look more like my mother than my daughter these days. Time passes quickly, but it passes one single day at a time. What will I do with TODAY? Tomorrow is gone forever. There is no use looking back. Why worry about the future? All my thoughts of "What if..." are wasted thoughts. Today is it. This moment. Now. Am I going to continue to live for myself, or was I created for something more than that? I believe that God made me to fulfill a plan He made for me before I was born. The only way I can ever fulfill that plan is to give up my independence and live for Him every day. That doesn't mean that I will be perfect, or some scary holy-roller, crazy woman, it just means that I have to make a conscious choice every day to listen to His voice, to follow His steps, to refuse to listen to the persistent hiss of the snake who calls me to what I want, to what I think is best, to what I think I need. It is obvious to everyone who knows me that I struggle, and I fail...miserably...a lot! That doesn't mean I should give up, and neither should you. If you've read this much of my ramblings, maybe God is using my words to speak some truth into your life too. We can't even imagine what He can do with our lives when we turn them over to Him! For about the tenth time today, I'm laying it all down at His feet. I'm not looking back...I'm walking away from my pile of "junk"... I'm going...I trust Him...I'd better go to bed now before I run back to pick it all back up again! Good-night Wednesday. Thursday? I hope to see you tomorrow...

Checked Out and Ready to Play!

Finally, finally, finally! I'm checked out of West Valley Middle School and ready to enjoy the lazy days of summer! I cleaned out my desk and loaded up some junk that will likely stay in the car until the first day of school this fall, but my check-out sheet is complete!

I spent most of the day hanging out on the trampoline with a good book. The Shack is a faith-stretching story of triumph over tragedy. I've enjoyed it so far, but it's weird. I'm reserving judgement until I finish it. I guess you could say it's making me think of things in a different way. God is represented by an overweight, African-American woman! That alone is enough to shake up my preconceived notions!

Addie went to Natalie's house to spend the night. She was so excited! She started getting ready about four hours before she was to be there! Drew is at the beach with Andrew. He has texted me one word since he left. I asked him, "Are you alive?" and he texted me back, "Yes." So I guess all is well.

Chelcie was a little bored this afternoon, so I offered to fix Petro's for her and some of her buddies. Now, my backyard is crawling with so-to-be college freshmen! Cassie, Becca Cox, Sarah Hope, Kelli, Kelsey Crabtree, Charley Park, Hunter Daniel, Scruggs, Luke, Corey, Patrick(?), Jennifer, and Abby are here. They are good kids who have grown up WAY TOO FAST! Delaney was here earlier, but she left to go to her grandparents' house. Then she came back!

Sam is having fun hanging out with the "big kids."

I've included some pictures from Grandmom's and Papaw's Memorial Day Cookout as part of today's update.

There is a funny picture of Bennett going potty outside. The funny part is that Katie almost broke her leg throwing her body in front of the camera lest her baby boy's private parts be displayed on the Internet for world-wide viewing!

There is also a picture of a painting the Drew created for his Advanced Art class. This is a portrait of Andrew Soreano at Krispy Kreme with Central Bapt. Church of Bearden in the background. He's an amazing artist and I am a proud mom!

The Unofficial Start of Summer

I'm already starting to have that familiar nostalgic feeling of something lost. It seems whenever one chapter of life ends, and the next chapter has not gotten started yet, I feel empty and a little lost. Summer hasn't officially started yet; I'm not technically finished up at school so maybe I'm in limbo.

I can't wait to get the ball rolling with Reach Them this year. There are so many exciting days ahead. I ask the Lord for wisdom, direction, discernment, and the energy and passion I will need to sustain myself and our incredible team. Scott Cagle has continued to speak God's Word into my life. Sunday mornings never cease to show me new insights into the heart of my Father. It's a privilege to be used by Him to accomplish His plans on earth. My feelings of inadequacey, incompetence, and inexperience serve to prove that He is working through me and using me in a powerful way to change things in our corner of the world. I pray that I will listen, be obedient to His call, and be free from any kind of selfish ambition or motives.

Sunday's service was on How to Receive God's Blessing. How appropriate! After church, Chelcie, Sam, and Addie and I went to Grid Iron Burgers for lunch. We enjoyed spending time together. We always laugh a lot. Chelcie and I were talking about WestLake and the new, young pastor from First Bapt. Concord. I mentioned that I had talked to Scott Cagle and the possibility of partnering with NorthStar. I was telling her that Scotty Hicks has nothing but good things to say about Phillip Martin, but all I managed to get out was, "Scotty..." when Chelcie looked at me with a bemused expression on her face. When I said, "Scotty" she thought I was talking about Scott Cagle! She said, "You call him Scotty now?" It was a funny moment!

Addie's belated birthday party was held Sunday night at the Parkway Drive-In in Maryville. We had Morgan, Kloee, Natalie, Taylor, Addie, and Sam, of course! Once the girls arrived, we loaded up Scotty's truck, Ed's foam padding, and enough sugar to keep the Knoxville dentists in business for the next ten years! Dinner was an assortment of hotdogs, hamburgers, popcorn chicken, french toast sticks, etc. at Sonic. The girls had a blast and attracted a lot of attention as they sang the soundtrack from Enchanted at the tops of their lungs from the back of the truck.

The movie was funny and the truck provided a comfortable, warm place from which to enjoy it. We passed the pre-movie time by passing a football, blowing bubbles, making trips to the bathroom, and arranging pillows and blankets to maximum comfort.

We headed back to Knoxville about 11:00 with a load of sticky, tired children. The sugar kicked it about the time we arrived home, and I struggled to get the kids to stop talking and settle down. Addie opened her birthday gifts, and her friends signed a special frame commemorating the occasion. The sleeping arrangments were made, then remade several times. Taylor called her parents who came and picked her up about midnight. Sleeping arrangements were modified yet again, and finally, the room was quiet around 2:00am.

Morning came early at 7:30 with the pitter-patter of little feet across the hardwood floor. Tom brought in Krispy Kreme doughnuts for breakfast that were devoured by famished females in record time!

Moms and Dads reclaimed their children at 10:00, so life began to return to "normal." Taylor came back over to hang out for a while. Chelcie and Tom headed out to Fort Sanders to workout, while I catch this blog up to date. Grandmom called to invite us to a family cookout at 5:00 this afternoon. We're responsible for bringing corn on the cob for 14 people! How is it possible for our family to have grown so large! It's definitely going to be a nap day today! Stand by for picnic pix from Grandmom's house.

My Last Day of School

It's the long kiss good-bye. Another year, wrapping up. So much to do even now. My check-out at school is complete except for my classroom so I still have to go back on Tuesday to clean up my desk and move files home for the summer.

Friday morning means Panera Bread. We met to spend a few minutes honoring Suzanne, a teacher and friend to all of us. She has been a leader and a role model to so many of us. Suzanne has made the difficult decision to leave the classroom and pursue other things. We gave her a card that not coincidentally had her favorite Bible verse on it. She loved the gifts we gave her; a hand-carved watering can angel, a daily calendar, and a plate displaying a quote from Erma Bombeck that expressed the desire to stand before God someday never having wasted a single moment of her life.

Once at school it was work, work, work! We all had records to complete, textbooks to count, lessons to file, and classrooms to clean. Mrs. Fuqua delivered some somber news at our morning staff meeting. She said that Knox County is in a budget crisis and that non-tenured and interim teachers are not promised a job at West Valley next year. There will be lots of changes at our school for the 2008-2009 school year. Jessica Clark is leaving. Suzanne is leaving. Angela Roberts is leaving. Lu Petrozello retired. Heather Rowley is having a baby. Emily Fendley is getting married. Scotty has an interview on Tuesday. April has applied for a transfer. And the positions of so many others are up in the air due to the budget crunch. Sherry and I are feeling unsettled.

Our lunch was catered by Silver Spoon, but I chose to bring a salad from home. Lu's retirement party was well-attended and I think she felt loved and appreciated. I hope when I retire that I can leave feeling like I did my best and my job is done.

I always feel a little melancholy at the ending of each school year. This year has been especially tough because I have come to depend on my friends so much for encouragement and support. Summer will pass quickly though, and time spent at home with my children is precious. I will cherish each day and invest my time well.

I worked in my classroom until about 4:00 then headed home. Ed picked up Addie and Sam and took them swimming with Olivia. Drew was on the computer, Tom was out and about, so I headed up to Grandmom's and Papaw's for a quick visit. I am so fortuntate to have my family so close. They never fail to fill me up! Drew brought up his portrait of Andrew at Krispy Kreme. I wanted to share it with Mom and Dad because I think it's amazing! A little later, Ed brought the kids by and we headed to Moe's to meet Tom for dinner. He was already there eating with Tracy Webb. We got caught up on the situation at WestLake from Tracy's perspective. Tom had to leave to get some papers signed, so Ed and the kids and I walked down to TCBY for some dessert. We ran into Miles and Katy and their kids and it was so good to see them! We have shared many good times with them and my children love their children. Kayla and Sterling cruised up in a red hot convertible and reminded me that they were SENIORS now!

Chelcie called to tell me she was twenty minutes away from Taylor's house, so we passed around hugs and pledged to get together soon with Miles and Katy, and headed out to reclaim Chelcie. She had a great time on her cruise and has the pictures to prove it! They met some boys from the Citadel, but fortunately, no true loves.

Once home, she shared her stories and pictures. Addie let it slip that David Cook won American Idol, so Chelcie was "so mad" the rest of the night. I went to bed about 10:30, exhausted from the day.